from A State of Grace
SAYING “NO”
I now have increasing strength to say “no” to situations that I know are inappropriate and will lead to behaviour I know from experience to be ultimately self-defeating, and to say “yes” to various other invitations from the circumstances of my life that I feel will be self-sustaining and self-freeing. — SLAA Basic Text, Page 266
Saying “no” was never cool in the days of my addiction. I had to be able to do everything in order to impress people. I needed so desperately for people to like me and I didn’t believe in my Higher Power so I couldn’t give the results of saying “no” to God.
Never knowing or caring about what was good for me didn’t help much either. Add to that the fear that if I said “no” I would get physically hurt or lose something valuable, and it was almost impossible. I went through life without boundaries. Then SLAA taught me that I needed to say “no contact” with certain people in my life who were harmful. I needed to stop saying “yes” to inappropriate behaviour from myself and others. I needed to say “yes” to self-esteem building actions. In the beginning, I needed help from my fellows to tell the difference between the two. But eventually I learned to recognize what actions were self-sustaining and self-freeing as opposed to being motivated by fear or a need for attention and love. I’m a different person, living in a different world today because of these SLAA life lessons.
I will say “no” when appropriate today and leave the results to Higher Power.
From Answers in the Heart
Prayer is our humble answer to the inconceivable surprise of living.
— Abraham Heschel
There are many ways to pray, and each of us has a style that uniquely expresses our spirituality. Once we open ourselves to our Higher Power, we can get comfortable with our own way of praying. It may mean leaving past ways behind. Maybe we’ve been used to prayer that relied only on words. Perhaps we used to pray for what we wanted, making sure we told God precisely what was best for us and everybody else. Or maybe we didn’t pray at all because we didn’t know how to or were afraid.
We need not worry about how to pray; our Higher Power shows us how. We must, however, be willing to move from the everyday world to a place where it is just our Higher Power and us. It is an exciting part of our spiritual journey to develop new ways to pray, trusting our relationship with our Higher Power to deepen the experience. What matters is that we give ourselves to it. When our prayer is from the heart, we know it and are at peace.
Prayer is another word for “conscious contact with God as we understood Him,” which is important to my recovery. I’ll take time today to pray.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members
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