from A State of Grace
REGRET
The guilt of prior deeds and passions or missed opportunities gave way to the deepest, most pervasive guilt of all: that of having left life unlived, of having turned our backs on the possibility of fulfilling a meaningful destiny. — SLAA Basic Text, Page 70
I’m sad today as I reflect on the high body count I left behind in my addiction; so many failed marriages, so many broken hearts. Yet to stay stuck in regrets of the past is a waste of the life I can have. Recovery for me today is not lingering too long in the regret, for that would defeat the very purpose of working the steps. I need to be watchful, for these feelings can turn into shameful remorse. Instead, I can genuinely feel the sorrow, and join with my Higher Power in the sacred act of letting go. I can learn to be loved and to love. I can learn to make wise and loving choices for myself. SLAA promises me a different life if I am willing to do what is suggested. I’ve had so many years of feeling unlovable, lonely, desperate and hopeless. I’d like the rest of my life to be different. With God and SLAA all things are possible, even a life of emotional sobriety.
Today I genuinely feel my feelings including sorrow, and search to find strength in the letting go, in Higher Power’s will, and time.
From Answers in the Heart
I’d never seen men hold each other. I thought the only thing they were allowed to do was shake hands or fight.
— Rita Mae Brown
Many of us, perhaps men more than women, have grown up without knowing the warmth of lovingly touching one another. Some of us had fathers who trapped themselves in a stereotypical male role, afraid to hold us and show their love for us. We may have learned to be independent, competitive, and separate. We often fell into awkwardness and isolation. As men especially, we became afraid to reach out, hug, and hold someone of our own sex.
Whether male or female, so many of us have lost touch with ourselves and with others. We have been alone too long.
One of the really healthy things about many Twelve Step meetings is the custom of holding one another and giving hugs. At first we may find it embarrassing and keep our distance. But as we learn to loosen up and reach out, we look forward to the warmth and strength that comes from giving and receiving a friendly, caring hug. It is good to learn to touch in a fearless and nonsexual way.
I am glad to be in touch with other people through hugging and holding.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members