from A State of Grace
POWERLESSNESS We began to recognize that we were powerless, not merely to change some specific sex partner, lover, or situation. We were powerless over an addictive pattern, of which any current, specific circumstance was just the most recent example. — SLAA Basic Text, Page 71
We are the owners of our patterns. These patterns are ways of thinking and behaving that are embedded and unconscious and therefore acted out without recognition of another choice. By honestly writing out our history and experiences with powerlessness and unmanageability as most do in formally working a First Step, we will inevitably uncover our non-working patterns and the progression of our disease. When we listen to others share their stories of unmanageability, we can usually identify the same thoughts and feelings, if not the behaviour. Sometimes we hear people that reveal our own powerlessness to us where we thought there was none. We thought we could handle it, but it overwhelmed us. Admitting and accepting this part of our sex and love addiction as it is now documented in our First Step writing and therefore undeniable, is crucial in beginning to take personal responsibility and in changing. We can no longer point the finger as we have done in the past.
Today I will commit to focusing on myself with the help of the program, my Higher Power, and my sponsor.
From Answers in the Heart
A good meal ought to begin with hunger. — French proverb
Eating can be an art, entertainment, a social occasion, a ceremony, but it is best done when we are hungry. Then food serves its basic purpose which is to sustain life and help us grow. The same is true of sex. Its basis is desire, physical and mental desire, not sexual obsession or craving.
Our addiction often has little to do with the basic demands of desire and all too much to do with sex in the head. We don’t feel sexual; we think obsessively about sex. We are often afraid of the physical side of sexual love, so we take refuge in fantasy, pornography, or anonymous forms of acting out. We flee from our real needs into the crooked byways of our fantasies and obsessions.
Our First Step back to sanity is the recognition that we are not using our minds but being exploited by the mental pictures that form our storehouse of memories and fantasies. Sex in the head rules us; as physical beings we are out of control.
We can get back to sanity and wholeness when we break with the past and turn to new sources of power, action, and love.
I will seek out new ways of relating to my sexuality as a living force within me.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members
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