from Touchstones
Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it—what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone. — Carlos Castaneda
Were we offended by someone today? Do we harbor resentment for remarks, oversights, or unpleasant mannerisms? Do we feel tense or uneasy about how someone else has treated us? We can probably make a good case to justify our reactions. Perhaps we are in the right and they are in the wrong.
Yet, even if we are justified, it doesn’t matter. We may be puffing ourselves up and wasting energy. When we are oversensitive, we take a self-righteous position which leads us far from our path of spiritual awakening. Our strength is diminished.
How much better it is to let go of the rightness, let go of our grandiosity, and accept the imperfections in others. We need to accept our own imperfections too. When we do, we are better men, and our strength and energy can be focused on richer goals.
I will accept others’ imperfections; I do not need to be right.
From Answers in the Heart
Grief may be joy misunderstood; Only the Good discerns the good. — Elizabeth Barrett Browning
It may seem strange to grieve for the loss of our addiction, but there is indeed mourning that needs to take place as we recover. There is so much to let go of as we discover and admit the toll sex addiction has taken on our life. Letting go includes feeling this loss.
The challenge is to grieve without judging ourselves or our feelings. Maybe our addiction helped us cope with life when we didn’t have healthy coping skills. Maybe it helped cover up feelings or events that were too painful to face. Maybe living as a practicing addict was truly the best we could do with our life at the time.
The tragedy was that as we sank deeper into addiction, it began to control us. It became our Higher Power, our lover, our job, our friend. That’s why it’s important to grieve not only for the loss of the addiction, no matter how unhealthy it was, but for the loss of ourselves and the things we missed out on in life because of our addiction. Grief, honestly felt and expressed, is a healing experience.
If I am grieving today, I give myself permission to do so. I need not be accountable to anyone else for how I feel, but I’ll simply take care of myself with gentleness and compassion.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men
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