from A State of Grace
SOCIAL PRESSURE
I never wanted to have children at all, just as I had never wanted to be married. Such situations represented bondage to me. Increasing responsibility could only impinge on my ability to pursue sexual and romantic adventure. It was society that was sick, I thought, trying to force bondage upon me. SLAA Basic Text, Page 11.
Social pressure is difficult for a sex and love addict to live up to. We have so many excuses for why we should be different and/or can’t do it society’s way. We don’t want to conform. We want to be special — to stand out from the crowd. Social pressure can motivate people to achieve. But it only gets in the way of a sex and love addict’s acting out “adventures.” That’s why so many addict behaviours are in the shadows. I always looked at social pressure as a negative thing, making me hide. But in sobriety I look at it as a system of checks and balances to see if I’m on the right track. I ask myself, “If society would look down on me for doing this, should I be doing it?” I write a pros and cons list, check with my sponsor and fellows, and pray. If the answer is yes, I should do it anyway, then I do it. Sometimes social pressure is bad, trying to make us do things we shouldn’t do (that don’t fit for us). But now that I have Higher Power’s guidance in my life, I can see what’s right for me.
I will be motivated to do what is right for me, asking for and using Higher Power’s guidance.
From Answers in the Heart
By this, the dreamer crosses to the other shore. And by a like miracle, so will each whose work is the difficult, dangerous task of self-discovery and self-development be portered across the ocean of life.
— Joseph Campbell
Step Twelve is the rousing affirmation that we have experienced the true miracle of a spiritual awakening and recovery. What a gift to be able to carry the message of recovery to those who still suffer from an addiction to sex. Through God’s power, we are the channel of God’s grace, giving ourselves unconditionally to life.
Each of us experiences recovery differently, and through our combined experience we find our voice, singly and as a fellowship. Somewhere there is someone who needs to hear that voice, feel the hope in our hearts, and see the peace in our eyes. There is no such thing as a good or bad recovery; there is only our recovery. It is priceless in our Higher Power’s eyes, because in the end only our Higher Power knows what we went through to get where we are today. We come to this new life through Twelve simple Steps that we will never outgrow.
Now that I have surrendered myself to God, I praise and thank God through my life today.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members
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