from A State of Grace
SOBER BREAK-UP
Encountering and facing any and all pain along the way through this process of withdrawal, I could become capable of making some decisions about how to live my life. This would now be based on the discovery of who and what I really was, which might emerge during my time alone, in full awareness of my addictive past. — SLAA Basic Text, Page 23
Six months into my relationship, my boyfriend and I broke up. It felt like I was experiencing a death–the death of hope for a sober relationship. I read a book about grief in recovery, and I learned that you don’t replace the loss. My biggest fear about losing a relationship was that I would act out again in SLAA. I had to trust God, and when I experienced that loss I found that I could turn to program, I could go to more meetings, I could go up to the desert and visit my family and just be closer to God and rely on my Higher Power for everything. I could get through the grieving process. I had to feel the grief instead of numbing it out or not allowing myself to cry, or whatever avoidance habits that I had in the past. I got through it. I felt stronger and closer to God because of it. I feel like I could get through any grief with the tools and support of the program.
I will try to use grief as an opportunity for learning and growing instead of as an excuse for acting out. I will remember that pain is the touchstone of spiritual growth.
From Answers in the Heart
We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us… — Marcel Proust
Many of us have known people new to recovery who enter a Twelve Step program only to encounter an enormous crisis or difficulty. It’s tempting at that point to question the mercurial nature of life, which sometimes inflicts blows when someone is already down. Difficulties do serve a purpose, though. It’s often in such moments of struggle that people become aware of the reality of their life and begin to make difficult choices. It’s also then that the fellowship of our recovery group shines, offering its collective experience, strength and hope to the addict in need.
Many of us have known someone who refused or was unable to hear the message being offered at our meetings. It takes wisdom, patience, and detachment to know when to reach out to someone, and how far to go. The respect we feel for that person’s recovery process as well as the faith we have in our Higher Power and the Twelve Step program can help us do our part and then let go.
Life is a learning experience. I can learn the lesson of my life, but not someone else’s.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members
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