from A State of Grace
THE EIGHTH SIGN
We begin to accept our imperfections and mistakes as part of being human, healing our shame and perfectionism while working on our character defects. — SLAA Core Documents, “SLAA Signs of Recovery”
The character of the typical addict has often been described as an “egomaniac with an inferiority complex.” Many of us grow up with a skewed perspective of our own personal worth, while putting on a show for the people around us, trying to appear as though we have it all put together. In reality, we hold ourselves to impossible standards, and then beat ourselves up when we fall short of our expectations. It is only a matter of time before the façade crumbles around us. With the twelve-step process, our perspective can be realigned. Our fellows in the program can help us to take an objective view of ourselves and others. When we recognize that all people are flawed, we forgive our own imperfections, and even come to love ourselves for them. This is where the healing process begins. We no longer need be ashamed of who we are. We can take pride in our imperfection, knowing that we are exactly who we are supposed to be.
I accept myself as I am. I am perfectly imperfect.
From Answers in the Heart
What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine.
— Susan Sontag
Some of us may be afraid of the other sex in us. Men, especially, often despise the feminine in themselves and do everything they can to put on a “macho” air. Women, too, are not always comfortable with what is masculine in themselves.
Many poets, philosophers, and psychologists believe that each of us is a complex mixture of the masculine and the feminine. We suppress either at our peril. What we dislike or close ourselves off to in the opposite sex may be just the qualities in ourselves that we fear the most.
Part of becoming whole means accepting the generous heritage of both sexes. In our recovery, we can get in touch with the feminine and the masculine in ourselves and other people. We will find our lives more complete if we do.
I embrace the whole of myself with affection and wonder.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members