from A State of Grace
OBJECTIVITY
Most of us found that writing down our inventory was very helpful. Looking at what we had done in black and white was a valuable aid to honesty and objectivity. — SLAA Basic Text, Page 79
My life lacked objectivity. When it came to me and my needs, I could never be open–minded or without bias. I was so insecure. My love addiction made me so needy that I couldn’t take a step back and calmly observe myself. This is a necessary tool in recovery. I need to be able to say, “I did this and I need to make amends,” without hiding out in the blame game. My strategy before program was always to make excuses in order to keep whatever behaviour I felt was serving me. But, in reality, it was usually doing more harm than good. Seeing it in black and white in my inventory made it seem like it could have been someone else doing it. I asked myself, “If I had seen someone else doing this, would I have thought it was right?” A synonym for objectivity is dispassion. I always thought a life without passion wouldn’t be worth living. But once I started asking for my character defect of being a drama queen to be removed, I realized how selfish that had made me. I needed to stop trying to get everything for myself and start helping others. When the world doesn’t centre around me, I can
be objective.
I will write a Tenth Step inventory today and try to be objective.
From Answers in the Heart
My inside, listen to me, the greatest spirit,
the Teacher, is near,
wake up, wake up!
Oh, friend, I love you, think this over
carefully! If you are in love,
then why are you asleep?
— Anonymous
We often know we have met a challenge in our life when we become suddenly aware of new knowledge. It’s as if a light goes on, and things suddenly make sense. One recovering person referred to this as “a blinding flash of the obvious.” It’s important to take such a moment of awareness seriously; it is a cue that we have learned a lesson, and it’s time to move on.
In the past, not trusting ourselves or a Higher Power, we relied on sex to make sense of our life. And the more we used our intellect and will to run our life, the less we accomplished.
In recovery, a moment of awareness is a moment of grace. It’s as if our Higher Power gives us a wonderful gift, and we can say, “So that’s what this is all about!” Our receptiveness to such a moment gives us the willingness to trust where we have been and the strength and courage to go where our life calls us next.
I will cherish the moments of awareness in my life today.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members
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