from A State of Grace
THE SIXTH SIGN We become willing to ask for help, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and learning to trust and accept others. — SLAA Core Documents, “SLAA Signs of Recovery”
I was ashamed to ask my father for help when I was suffering financially. I would have rather incurred the overdraft fees than allow myself to be vulnerable with my father. The program taught me that it was okay to ask for help, so I swallowed my pride and approached my father for assistance. As is often the case, I found that my fears were unfounded. Asking for help in those instances has given me courage to ask for help in other situations. When I am tempted to act out, I can call on my sponsor or someone else in the program without fear of being judged. My fellows in the program are always willing to help me if I am brave enough to reach out and ask. I have even built relationships with some friends and loved ones in which I can tell them that I am triggered and need to remove myself from a situation. When I admit that I am struggling, my Higher Power acts through the people I care about and does for me what I cannot do for myself. We all need a little help now and then.
I need not be ashamed of asking for help. The assistance I need is all around me.
From Answers in the Heart
Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom. — Thomas Jefferson
We have to find our own way to wisdom, and the road may sometimes seem long and hard. How do we start? How far do we have to go? How do we know when we are there?
Most of us find it helpful to travel the road with others, in a Twelve Step group. There we learn to be honest with ourselves and to trust our inner voice. After a time we are able to separate fact from fantasy and come to a mature perspective on our own conduct.
We need courage to be rigorously honest. It is so easy to gloss over yesterday’s slip or forget that our behavior has hurt a loved one. We may wish to begin by listing our good and bad qualities. This helps us get a sense of proportion and provides the basis for an assessment of those actions that have harmed others and ourselves. Then we can decide about making amends to the people we have hurt. Going one step at a time takes away our fear that we can never do it, never get there. Honesty, like anything else, can be learned, with patience and love.
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I want to learn honesty as a vital step on the path to wisdom and serenity.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members
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