from A State of Grace
EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY
Sexual and emotional sobriety are self-defined in our fellowship... What I really needed was to just take it easy and experience my feelings as they really were, face them square on, and deal with them on a day-to-day basis, avoiding behaviour that I’d come to identify as troublesome. — SLAA Basic Text, Page 265
Being emotionally sober means we are no longer acting out in our fears. We aren’t emotionally intoxicated nor buffeted by the storms of our emotions. In the past, we were swept away by our emotions, trapped in that vicious cycle of automatic behaviours and feelings that reinforced how badly we felt about ourselves. It’s difficult to experience feelings as they really are in that warlike state. In sobriety, we identify and face the behaviours and negative thoughts that leave us emotionally wrung out. We surrender our past pain and trauma as well as the lies we tell ourselves. We let others affirm and love us. We are worthwhile people. We no longer need to escape into addiction because of overwhelming, unpleasant feelings.
As we emerge from our emotional haze, we are more present and more willing to act from our heart. Now, when we begin to feel unhealthy emotions, we ask our Higher Power and others for help. We begin to feel a profound connection to God and to life. We have stopped struggling and are flowing with life. As we become emotionally sober, we are more open, honest, respectful, grateful and loving. We embrace our emotions, as they make us feel alive and connected to life.
My emotions now flow with the current of life. I am emotionally present and learning to act from my heart.
From Answers in the Heart
The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that’s the essence of inhumanity.
— George Bernard Shaw
Hate is the other side of love and shows at least energy and passion. Probably most of us feel surges of hate at some time or another, especially toward those we love the most. We can deal with this if we realize that these moments will pass and be forgiven.
But indifference and apathy can become a disease of the spirit so pervasive that their darkness envelops everything. Then life is stifled and throttled at the root. If we don’t value the people around us, they will feel our lack of caring as striking at the heart of their humanity. If we have no time for life, then life and those close to us will drift away from us.
The world is a place of splendor and love. We can connect with it if we reach out beyond self-concern and replace indifference and apathy with the energy of living and loving.
Apathy maims and kills. I am discovering how to energize my body and spirit and reach out to others who need me as I need them.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members
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