from A State of Grace
GOLDEN RULE
We had to conclude that it was silly and futile to let ourselves be upset at what we saw as diseased actions by others, especially if we hoped that others would continue to be tolerant of our own frequent lapses into dishonesty or manipulative behaviour. — SLAA Basic Text, Page 97
“Do unto others as you would have done to you.” Reciprocity was always very important to me. If I did anything for anyone, I expected something in return. If they didn’t respond in kind, that meant they didn’t love me. If it was a stranger, that meant there was no justice in the world or that God didn’t love me (if God even existed). I wasted so much energy trying to manipulate and control others into doing things my way. I felt entitled and judgmental. If everyone would just follow the Golden Rule, the world would be a beautiful place. But not everyone is capable of that. People aren’t objects that I can move around on a chessboard. Maybe my idea of reciprocity doesn’t work for them. If I sit around getting resentful about lack of participation in my blueprint for life, I’m only hurting myself. SLAA’s Steps and Traditions taught me to be of service without expecting anything in return. Through the process, I have seen that I will never get what
I really need from human beings. I need a spiritual solution. The serenity that the Program has given me is better than any token I can receive from the physical world. I will be of service today and let go of expectations.
From Answers in the Heart
You cannot step twice into the same river, for other waters are continually flowing on. — Heraclitus
How we see ourselves and the words we use to describe ourselves are important. If we label ourselves “a sex addict,” will we feel and act like a sex addict? Although it can be a great relief to find a name for our addiction, we want to be careful not to use those words against ourselves.
The words “sex addict” are only words. The reality we bring to them is our own. The words may be emotionally charged for us and other people, but in the end they only describe a part of who we are. They don’t describe us entirely.
Every moment of recovery is a transition between the old us and the new us. When we want to move away from an image of ourselves as addicts and see ourselves as whole people, we can do that. To do so does not mean we deny the reality of our addiction; it means we see a more complete picture of who we are.
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I can be a grateful addict today, knowing it was my addiction that brought me a new life.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members
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