from Touchstones
If I am not for myself, who is for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when? — Hillel
Some of us were treated badly as young boys and never learned how to live for ourselves. We can see only two choices: either be submissive and care-taking or be abusive and demanding. Many of us have so much guilt and shame that we feel we don’t deserve to stand up for ourselves. This program demands that in recovery we be for ourselves. If we don’t know how, we learn. If we are unsure, we must experiment. When we make mistakes, we must admit them and know we have a right to be imperfect learners. And we can’t be only for ourselves, because that keeps us small and turns us back to where we came from.
As we accept ourselves and come to know our imperfections and weaknesses, we can understand others better. We are stronger in giving to others and more effective because we have a place to stand.
Today, even if I don’t feel good about myself, I will stand up for my dignity as a man.
From Answers in the Heart
It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not. — Andre Gide
If we live with someone we really love and betray the person with our sex addiction, we are living a lie. More and more, we shun intimacy and turn toward our distorted world.
But what of our loved ones? The persons we are deceiving may begin doubting us and end up feeling crazy. Deception, half-truths, missed appointments, financial irresponsibility, loss of job, lies, and more lies — all turn a loving relationship into a twisted nightmare. There seems to be no way out.
One single Step, the First Step in our program, and the journey toward recovery begins. We begin to learn how to be honest and to look people in the eye again. We come to own our actions and face our loved ones. At first, our journey will be painful, but with love and patience and trust we will come through.
In overcoming my sex addiction I will regain the love and trust of my loved ones.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men
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