from A State of Grace
VIGILANCE It would have been a serious error to attribute all of our troubles to the addiction alone, for our character defects affected all other areas of our lives as well. This was not the time to relax, for we needed to continue our vigilance against the constant sexual and romantic temptations and the illusion of “the perfect romance.” — SLAA Basic Text, Page 85
Sex and love addiction is sneaky. It can creep into every area of our lives and tell us a work friendship should turn into an affair because that person is perfect for us or it’s okay to take a little comfort in going to an adult bookstore. It tells us that cable television programs aren’t harmful. And for some people it might not be, but when we start rationalizing behaviours that make us dance around our bottom lines, we’re in dangerous territory. My sponsor said it was as if acting out was a big dark hole that we keep falling into until one day we walk really far away from it in order to avoid falling in. If I start doing a behaviour that doesn’t feel right, I check with sober partners. If they think it sounds sketchy, I avoid it. Sometimes just the act of telling on myself stops the behaviour. If I’m ignoring how I’m feeling, I can get caught in the trap of addiction.
Journaling, praying, meditating, outreach, and all the tools of the Program keep me in touch with myself and my sobriety. Sometimes it seems like too much work, but it’s worth it.
I will use all the tools of the Program to stay vigilant today.
From Answers in the Heart
Yes, we love peace, but we are not willing to take wounds for it, as we are for war. — John Andrew Holmes
When we are willing to face the impact of our sex addiction on our relationships, we are ready to begin making amends. We can take responsibility for the consequences of our actions, especially those that were sexual. Acknowledging that we have harmed other people through infidelity, harmful sexual practices, or broken trust takes courage. Repairing the damage directly and appropriately takes a heart open to a Higher Power’s grace.
As our past heals through our recovery, we will see that facing reality comes more easily. Thus, the honesty needed in making amends also brings our relationships into the present. We will find our sanity restored by telling the truth to ourselves and, when possible, to the people from our past. Regardless of how the amend is made, or whether it’s accepted, we will find peace once the effort is made.
God, my heart is open to You. I know that You will show me the best way to make amends.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members
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