from Touchstones
Too much agreement kills a chat. — Eldridge Cleaver
Many of us haven’t learned there is room for disagreement in a relationship. Some men who grew up in addicted families saw a lot of pain, anger, and quarreling. Many learned to be always pleasing and agreeable, no matter how they felt. Others took it as a personal insult when someone disagreed with them.
We choke the vitality and excitement in our love relationships if we are too intent on avoiding conflict. Nothing can be resolved if we smooth everything over. Differences between people don’t just go away. If we don’t bring them out, they fester and create silent tension or boredom. If we willingly express our thoughts and feelings, we can learn how to resolve our disagreements and to appreciate each other for our differences as well as our similarities. If two people in a relationship were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.
Today, I will try to be more open about my differences with people, not as a way of fighting, but as a way of letting them know me better.
From Answers in the Heart
The heart has reasons which reason does not know. — Pascal
In a scientific age we rely on reason for explanation of the world and our conduct. If our minds tell us something is unreasonable, we tend not to do it. Our heads rule our hearts.
But our hearts have voices, too, and they deserve to be heard. Emotion is not just a force; it is also a language whose words are often more powerful and effective than those of the mind’s language. Our hearts can tell us about caring and affection and helping and loving and being in touch.
In our addiction, we stopped listening to our hearts. Our hearts themselves almost stopped. Recovery sets the heart beating again in hope and love.
I am coming to trust in the language of my heart — the language of loving.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men
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