from A State of Grace
TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY
We still seemed unable to respond in kind, often coming up against our own inner blocks, which kept experiences of genuine trust and caring at arm’s length… God’s grace would give us freedom from the burden of our old self. — SLAA Basic Text, Page 86
I had a friend who always told me I “needed to get a thicker skin.” I would fly off the handle at every little thing. “This person is doing this to me,” was my mantra. Everyone was out to get me in this world because I thought it was all about me — and in a negative way. Sometimes people aren’t even thinking about me! I used to even think people in SLAA meetings were sharing “at” me. My sponsor had to repeatedly tell me that I wasn’t the centre of the universe. I needed to get over myself and look for ways to be of service. Being of service at the Intergroup and Conference Committee levels really taught me to stop taking things personally. I saw people listening to the group conscience and making amends if their behaviour negatively affected the group. They stuck around and continued to be of service in situations where I would have run. They had a sense of themselves as important in God’s world but still just part of the team. Seeking Higher Power’s will in every situation helps me to realize that I am a small part of a plan and I don’t need to control everything.
I will not take things personally today and know that others have their own Higher Power. They take care of themselves. I will do so as well.
From Answers in the Heart
It is a luxury to be understood.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Many sex addicts feel that, from their earliest days, they have been misunderstood. Perhaps we went to a parent for comfort and were sexually abused; perhaps we spoke of our need for affection and were exploited by a brother or sister or by a friend. Our messages and calls for human contact were grossly misinterpreted. We wanted affection, but we got abuse.
What a relief to be working and talking in a group where others genuinely respond to us! We know now that even our darkest thoughts can be shared and our basest actions are understood. There is nothing we cannot say to the group because it has become a place of trust and responsiveness.
As we learn to express ourselves knowing that we will be heard and accepted, we feel stronger and more integrated into the human community. We are learning to talk our way out of our loneliness and our sickness.
I know I am beginning to trust others because they listen to me and give me understanding.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members
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