from Touchstones
If you can just observe what you are and move with it, then you will find that it is possible to go infinitely far. — J. Krishnamurti
“Boys don’t cry” is bad training for males. Worse than that were ideas like, “Don’t pass up a dare,” “Nice guys finish last,” “Be a good provider,” “Be aggressive.” Some of these ideas have some value, but problems came from adopting them as the only way to be. We thought we had to work at being the strongest, the best, the least vulnerable. Now we are learning how weak and fragile such thinking actually makes men. It sets us up to go to the extremes we found in our addictions and codependency.
Weakness isn’t the alternative to this thinking. Developing our spiritual side, we see that we don’t have to work at being what we already are. A man can be strong enough to show his vulnerability. He can choose the opportunity to advance a relationship with his child over the opportunity to advance his career. He can choose to pass by a challenge without shame because he doesn’t wish to spend his energy there.
I will be stronger today by simply allowing myself to be true to my feelings.
From Answers in the Heart
All natures are in nature. — Jennie Jerome Churchill
None of us comes into recovery the same. We each have a different story. We may look at our recovering brothers and sisters and compare our lives and recoveries to theirs. We may compare ourselves to those we call “normal.” Such comparisons are pointless, however. It’s human to look for similarities between ourselves and others; we all search for connection. But it’s freeing to realize that each of us is unique.
Some people are healthier than we are, and some people are sicker. Neither state need reflect on us, because each of us is where we’re supposed to be — that’s the program’s wisdom. We can give ourselves credit for our growth by remembering where we started and by acknowledging how far we’ve come. We can also refuse to live with perfectionistic expectations that lead to discouragement and self-sabotage. There is hope and comfort in knowing that we all have both similarities and differences.
Today, I will accept the differences between myself and others and learn to trust and love them.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men
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