from A State of Grace
CELEBRITY CRUSH
Romantic obsession is… an unhealthy fixation on another person with whom we may or may not have a relationship or even have met. The addictive nature of obsession can distort our thinking and behaviour and can lead us in a direction that violates our dignity and personal integrity. — from the “Romantic Obsession” pamphlet
“Crush” sounds so harmless. I always told myself that that’s all it was. I wasn’t obsessed with the celebrity, it was just a crush. But my addiction twists everything and made this thirty-year-old scream like a teenager when she saw a picture in a magazine. It’s not healthy to sit around for hours fantasizing about what life would be like with a certain celebrity instead of doing the dishes. If I can enjoy their work and be entertained by it instead of going into fantasy, then I know it’s an innocent crush. As long as I’m honest with myself if it starts to turn into obsession, I won’t have to cross any boundaries and harm myself or others. I don’t have to let the addiction lead me down a path of destruction. I can keep my dignity and personal integrity if I tell on myself to sponsors and fellows, pray, and let go. A harmless little crush can stay a crush if I realize that I’m slipping into fantasy. I can bring myself back to reality with the help of others.
I will avoid romantic obsession today by allowing myself to see reality.
From Answers in the Heart
Even the cry from the depths is an affirmation: Why cry if there is no hint of hope of hearing?
— Martin Marty
What happens to a girl who doesn’t get the help she needs from her parents? What becomes of a boy who reaches out, time and again, to parents who don’t respond to his needs? What kind of life awaits the victim of childhood sexual abuse who has no one to turn to for help?
We know some of the answers to those questions because, for many of us, our childhoods included suffering alone, in silence. Help was asked for, but never received. Trust was betrayed when we reached out.
We can’t condemn ourselves if we have a hard time asking for help. Healing is a process; trusting is a process; risking is a process. We can reach out only as much as we are able to this moment. We must trust that through our recovery, over time, our sense of dignity and clarity will be reestablished. Day by day we will find ourselves better able to ask for what we need.
My wounds from the past do not have to be fully healed in order for me ta start anew.
Daily Meditation Books
Answers in the Heart - daily meditations for people recovering from sex addiction
Touchstones - daily meditations for recovering men A State of Grace - daily meditations by SLAA members
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